What are family constellations?
Family constellations are a therapeutic tool systematized by a German priest and psychotherapist, Bert Hellinger, a missionary in South Africa. Man has been greatly inspired by psycho genealogy, as well as by the way the African Zulu tribe is very attached to the worship of ancestors, resolving their problems and conflicts.
It views families, schools, countries and businesses as separate systems with their own rules.
His method is based on a psycho-genealogical law that knows that we are all more or less conditioned by our family history. The purpose of family constellations is, to a large extent, to restore order, to put everyone in their place with the responsibilities and traumas they carry. In other words, to symbolically return to those to whom the suitcases we carry for them belong, of unconscious loyalty and following their destiny.
Family constellations are a therapeutic method. We are aware of the hidden family dynamics; we experience them and we free ourselves to move forward with ease and support from our ancestors.
Dr. Irena Vacheva
Family constellations are based on 3 basic principles
Principle 1 – Belonging
If you were born in a family or married in a family, you belong to it forever. You become one of them. This is you birth right.
Principle 2 – Order
Every system, including the family one, has a rule: whoever is born (included) first is bigger. Everyone has their place, even if they are dead. It is important that everyone stays in place.
Principle 3 – Balance
The third principle is for balance as much as you give and so much you receive. In this way, the relationships become stable and develop constructively.
How does the “family constellations” method work?
The first step to liberation is awareness, the idea of family constellations is to project a family or systemic problem into three-dimensional space (which will be called the “field” and which will be confined to the therapist’s office or some other suitable place, even in nature). , using a physical representation of its various components to observe how the system is configured, how it develops, what are the interactions and even subtleties between its members, where are the blockages and where love cannot flow.
Family constellations make it possible to distinguish the types of unconscious functioning that are very often trans-generational and bring, repeatedly, into a person’s life conflicts (broken families, inability to form a stable couple to find their place in society или) or uncomfortable or even dramatic situations that can sometimes seem like swearing: serial bankruptcies, suicides, abuse, illness, various addictions (alcohol, drugs, bulimia, ().
“Trauma experienced by ancestors can affect future generations”
And it turns out that no therapy can help until these hereditary traumas are clarified. In order to move, the client must see whose family history he is subconsciously repeating. He can be free and live his own life to the fullest.
How do family constellations work?
A specific problem is stated – it can be a personal impasse, a professional dead end, illness, panic attack, an emotion that is difficult to manage.
Then the family history of the client is analyzed, his birth family is considered, as well as his current one.
You can visit a group for family constellations and or make an individual meeting (maybe online)
Questionnaire for a session on family constellations
Here we work only with facts. What really happened to your ancestors.
Clarification of the terms “current family” and “parental family”
Who makes up the current family?
Spouse, living and deceased children, children who died at birth and as a result of abortion or miscarriage, and children who left the family, children born in previous marriages or by other partners. It is necessary to specify whether any of the spouses in the current family had a serious relationship or marriage before the wedding and what was the reason for the separation, without going into details. It is necessary to know whether there have been significant or tragic events related to this family.
Who makes up the parental family?
Parents, living and deceased siblings, those (if any) who died in childbirth as a result of abortion or those who left the family, uncles and aunts.
With regard to the parental family, it is reasonable to ask the same questions as for the current family.
Who makes up the family system?
Father, mother, brothers and sisters, grandparents, aunts and uncles, but not cousins. It is necessary to know whether there are members in the system who are excluded or not talked about. It is also important to know if there have been people outside the family system who have had strong relationships with certain members of the family system, whether those relationships have been positive (the person who helped the family) or negative (the person who who has been robbed or taken advantage of), because even if such people did not have a blood relationship, they belong to the family system.
What information is needed to compile a genogram?
You may often not have access to all the data needed to compile the genogram, and it may be necessary to seek this information from other members of the family system who are still alive.
- All sisters and brothers
- Brothers and sisters and adopted children
- Own children
- Father and mother, including foster father and mother
- Aunts and uncles, but without cousins
- Grandparents, both maternal and paternal
- All dates of birth and dates of death
- Dates of divorces and divisions
- Professions and social status
- Historical events (wars, emigration, exile, political situations ()
- Staying in a prison or psychiatric clinic of one of the members
- Previous partners of the parents
- Former partners of grandparents
- Have parents been forced to marry just because of pregnancy?
- Were grandparents forced to marry just because of pregnancy
- Stillbirths and abortions
- Diseases, including hereditary
- Severe accidents
- Murders, suicides and violent deaths
- All members of the system who have died young or have been abandoned and given to other people to raise
- All forms of difficult life situations
– addictions to psychoactive substances, etc.
- taboo topics and family secrets
- Sexual abuse
- Religious and ethnicity
- Financial failures and successes
- Cases of overthrow and exclusion of members of the system (black sheep)
- “Saints” in the family system
- Cases of mysterious death or death that is not talked about
Family constellations are based on the observance of basic cosmic laws. Disregard for these laws has complex consequences; through energetic work in the field of family order we can contribute to the restoration of natural order.
Two main dynamics take care of the family system: the family conscience and the balance between giving and receiving.
There is a conscience that we feel, and that conscience maintains order in the family system; it is above all an attachment to the group. At the level of the unconscious, the conscience connects different systems, which include the members of the group, the rules of the group and the needs of the group.
The laws are the following:
1. The need / right to respect / acknowledge what is. What must be allowed to be.
2. The need / right to belong (excluded, forgotten, bad, wrong,…)
3. The need / right to maintain the balance of giving and receiving.
4. The need / right to order. Those who are first (older) are in first place in relation to those who came later in the family.
Respect / recognition of what is
What should be allowed to be.
Reality never makes mistakes, even when it seems threatening. Everything that happened is recorded in the energy field of our family. When we acknowledge what it is and look at it, we come to a solution to the problem. But often we don’t want to look in that direction because we are afraid, ashamed, we don’t want to see, it’s not ours, we wonder what we have to do with it, and so on. We go back to him, thinking he will disappear if we don’t look at him. In fact, in this way we miss the opportunity to solve the problem by spending from a place of repression and denial.
Healing comes only by accepting the truth that comes to the surface. When we give space to what is, then none of the descendants should stand in that place (which has been denied in the past). If this is not done, no matter how much we deny seeing someone or something, there will always be one of the descendants who with his behavior, illness, loss, etc. … Will be forced to look for the cause of his suffering.
For example, when someone is excluded from the family system and he / she is entitled to belong to it, the system seeks compensation and the excluded member is represented by the younger member who does not know what is happening to him or her or whose life he or she is living.
The solution to this is, with the help of energetic work in the field of family constellations, to look at the excluded member and then, the descendant of this or some further generation will not have to energetically represent this person, but will be able to live your own life (not someone else’s).